I have a new favorite object. It is called a grabber.
A couple of days ago I was taking a long walk with my cousin Jill---it has been so great to get to see her more often! I was telling her how I had been having a desire to start picking up trash on my walks, and that I had been thinking about trying to get one of those things people use to pick up trash. She told me they were called "grabbers" and she used to get to use them on the playground when she was doing lunch duty and that they were really fun. We turned the corner, and BAM! There she was! The Golden Grabber! She was a lovely woman wearing pearls picking up trash with a grabber and putting it into a tasteful reusable bag. We talked about grabbers for a bit, and she told me I could get one at the local hardware store, which turned out to be true. Her brilliant idea is that they should be made in short lengths for children because they would love using them and it would keep then happily busy on walks. Sounds like an entrepreneurial opportunity!
So I started thinking about "Grabber Girls," and I even started a song about us, to the tune of "Can Can Girls:"
we are the grabber girls
we always wear our pearls
we keep the beaches clean
so Santa Cruz stays green...
But then I realized that I was limiting participation by 50% for no good reason, so now I am thinking "Green Grabbers." We could even paint our tools green! Can't wait to see where this goes!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
the examined life
While I was doing dishes tonight (no dishwasher in our cottage, or, more to the point, no ROOM for a dishwasher...) I had a realization that perhaps the thing I like best about being in a new place is that it gives me cause for examining almost everything I do. Is this really the way I want the room to be? Is this how I want to spend this time? Is this really the product I want to buy?
On one hand, it is exhausting. Where are the familiar brands in the grocery store so I can just get what I usually get? On the other hand is the exhilaration of remembering I almost always have a choice.
On one hand, it is exhausting. Where are the familiar brands in the grocery store so I can just get what I usually get? On the other hand is the exhilaration of remembering I almost always have a choice.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
proud new non-owners!
The house closing went off ok. Yippee!!!
We are going to the harbor for dinner to celebrate!
Oh yeah-forgot to mention-last night was a new moon...
We are going to the harbor for dinner to celebrate!
Oh yeah-forgot to mention-last night was a new moon...
living in the moment? not so much.
Awake in the middle of the night for the first time in weeks. It could be that I am anxious about the closing of our house in MO, scheduled for tomorrow. It is happening about a month later than planned. There was a problem with the title on the house related to a mistake made when the house was sold years ago out of the original owners' trust, which took some time to get cleared up. Then during that
month of waiting there were plumbing problems quickly followed by roofing problems...I just cannot WAIT to archive about a million emails about things I never want to think about again.
In the midst of this, there is all the "stuff" that comes with changing banks, insurances, addresses, etc. etc. etc. It will be a relief to have our resources where we need them to be without always needing to do some kind of form or transfer or identity check. I keep trying to think about how to make things simpler this time...
The other funny thing to me is how I react to the combination of unstructured time, yet having "things to do." During most of my adult life, "things to do" have gotten wedged in around work time and family responsibilities. Now, it is largely up to me to decide how my time is spent. It is not exactly "vacation," but I could be treating it much more like that than I am. I have been putting a pretty high priority on getting things in my life organized the way I want them...thinking, I suppose, that the time investment now will pay off for me later. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just go to the beach and read a book while the going is good.
There is a part of me that still thinks I can get things "all caught up" so that THEN I can relax and just maintain. I know life just isn't that way. Maybe one day I will learn to accept the lack of order we call reality.
month of waiting there were plumbing problems quickly followed by roofing problems...I just cannot WAIT to archive about a million emails about things I never want to think about again.
In the midst of this, there is all the "stuff" that comes with changing banks, insurances, addresses, etc. etc. etc. It will be a relief to have our resources where we need them to be without always needing to do some kind of form or transfer or identity check. I keep trying to think about how to make things simpler this time...
The other funny thing to me is how I react to the combination of unstructured time, yet having "things to do." During most of my adult life, "things to do" have gotten wedged in around work time and family responsibilities. Now, it is largely up to me to decide how my time is spent. It is not exactly "vacation," but I could be treating it much more like that than I am. I have been putting a pretty high priority on getting things in my life organized the way I want them...thinking, I suppose, that the time investment now will pay off for me later. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just go to the beach and read a book while the going is good.
There is a part of me that still thinks I can get things "all caught up" so that THEN I can relax and just maintain. I know life just isn't that way. Maybe one day I will learn to accept the lack of order we call reality.
Friday, February 17, 2012
no longer unemployed
I got a call today from the Medical Director of the student health center at the University of California-Santa Cruz (UCSC) offering me a job there. I had a formal interview this past Monday with 6 staff, which seemed to go well. They liked my experience and my references (thank you Mark, Judy and Susan). Oh, and I passed my background and fingerprinting check. As Rich says, it's just a good thing I keep changing my last name.
They would like me to work full time, but I opted for the "per diem" position, which gives me control of the days I work, but no benefits. At this point in my life, time is worth far more than money. I am pleased and excited to join their group! Everyone I have met there seems like they will be fun to work with. My boss' voice reminds me of Alan Alda, and he seems like a terrific, well put together guy. More to come next week on orientation and start date...
I also had a couple of other interviews this week. I met with the Medical Director of a small local group wanting someone to help them start an urgent care. The group is primary care oriented, but they have a few more steps before they are ready to get started. The other was a 2 hour (!) phone interview with a large multi-specialty group. I started by telling the recruiter that I was not interested in being plugged into a primary care slot---so she was kind of at a loss for what to do with me. I tried my best to sell her on the idea that I would be a good person to help their organization create systems for dealing with patients with multiple chronic conditions, using multidisciplinary teams. In other words, provide care for those who will get Medicaid in 2014 a'la The Kitchen Clinic. She said she thought their recruitment committee would be "intrigued."So there are a couple of other hooks in the water which might be possibilities down the road.
There is also some interesting work going on in Santa Cruz as well as in the region related to helping elderly patients be able to keep living independently despite having chronic conditions. I would very much like to get involved in that work in some way. I have made a few exploratory contacts to learn more about local efforts which are underway.
I am incredibly fortunate to be qualified to work in a field where there is wide demand, and which is well compensated. Still, this experience of job seeking in my 50's helped me understand the vulnerable position so many people face. Work is part of my identity, a part of fulfilling what feels like my role in this world. I am just lucky I enjoy it so much.
They would like me to work full time, but I opted for the "per diem" position, which gives me control of the days I work, but no benefits. At this point in my life, time is worth far more than money. I am pleased and excited to join their group! Everyone I have met there seems like they will be fun to work with. My boss' voice reminds me of Alan Alda, and he seems like a terrific, well put together guy. More to come next week on orientation and start date...
I also had a couple of other interviews this week. I met with the Medical Director of a small local group wanting someone to help them start an urgent care. The group is primary care oriented, but they have a few more steps before they are ready to get started. The other was a 2 hour (!) phone interview with a large multi-specialty group. I started by telling the recruiter that I was not interested in being plugged into a primary care slot---so she was kind of at a loss for what to do with me. I tried my best to sell her on the idea that I would be a good person to help their organization create systems for dealing with patients with multiple chronic conditions, using multidisciplinary teams. In other words, provide care for those who will get Medicaid in 2014 a'la The Kitchen Clinic. She said she thought their recruitment committee would be "intrigued."So there are a couple of other hooks in the water which might be possibilities down the road.
There is also some interesting work going on in Santa Cruz as well as in the region related to helping elderly patients be able to keep living independently despite having chronic conditions. I would very much like to get involved in that work in some way. I have made a few exploratory contacts to learn more about local efforts which are underway.
I am incredibly fortunate to be qualified to work in a field where there is wide demand, and which is well compensated. Still, this experience of job seeking in my 50's helped me understand the vulnerable position so many people face. Work is part of my identity, a part of fulfilling what feels like my role in this world. I am just lucky I enjoy it so much.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Just back from a very satisfying grocery shopping experience at my new favorite local market. I have been wanting to put staple grains in those blue Bell jars for years, and now I have and they look very pretty in the window of the back porch. The little man who weighed my containers for me was very sweet and supportive, and the woman at check out loved my olive oil bottle and pepper grinder. The highlight of my bulk shopping was finding laundry soap for the first time ever!
One of my new neighbors was walking the same direction and asked to join me. I learned she likes to write-she is a cheerful soul. I felt very urbane with my rolling shopping cart, and found 2 coins on the way home but not my missing earring. Yet.
I am looking forward to a lovely Italian dinner with FRESH mozzarella and Italian sausage and greens and bread and raspberries. I hope I never forget how lucky I am now to have access to this incredible variety of healthy local foods!
One of my new neighbors was walking the same direction and asked to join me. I learned she likes to write-she is a cheerful soul. I felt very urbane with my rolling shopping cart, and found 2 coins on the way home but not my missing earring. Yet.
I am looking forward to a lovely Italian dinner with FRESH mozzarella and Italian sausage and greens and bread and raspberries. I hope I never forget how lucky I am now to have access to this incredible variety of healthy local foods!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
the happy side effects of having company
On Thursday, we had our first dinner guests in our new little home. Aunt Kay and Frank were here for pacific snapper and trimmings, including olallie berry pie, which neither Rich nor I had ever experienced. Yummy---like a tart blackberry! And, no, Carrie, I did not make the crust.
Aside from enjoying their company, as always, the fact that they were coming created a little momentum for me to look critically at the last dregs of unpacking and "just put it SOMEWHERE!"
I am the major (perhaps only) beneficiary of this action...Rich is far less affected by his environment than I. Having less clutter around has definitely made it easier for me to THINK about other things. Like what to do next.
It is quite easy for me to get caught up in being ABLE to do what others (prospective employers) want, and much more difficult for me to stay in touch with what I WANT to do with my time. On one hand, it would be pretty nice to have a job with benefits (after going on 7 years without them during my Kitchen Clinic days). On the other hand, it sure is easy to trade away the best of your waking hours for the illusion of security that benefits provide. One nice thing about being a family physician these days is that most medical systems in most places want (and need) more of them. Unfortunately, the way they tend to see us is as a production unit capable of performing certain functions they have identified as necessary. They are not particularly interested in others' thoughts about what would really benefit the patients they are "serving." This, in addition to my ever strengthening belief that it is a provision for health, not health care, that people need, has left me wary of "selling out." So many things to consider!
Easily the highlight of the week was being able to say hello to my friend, Ginny, who finally was freed from the hospital in Springfield yesterday. It was a salve to my soul just to hear her voice. I hope the coming days bring her some peaceful rest. She is a good reminder to me of that which is important. Namaste, dear Ginny.
Aside from enjoying their company, as always, the fact that they were coming created a little momentum for me to look critically at the last dregs of unpacking and "just put it SOMEWHERE!"
I am the major (perhaps only) beneficiary of this action...Rich is far less affected by his environment than I. Having less clutter around has definitely made it easier for me to THINK about other things. Like what to do next.
It is quite easy for me to get caught up in being ABLE to do what others (prospective employers) want, and much more difficult for me to stay in touch with what I WANT to do with my time. On one hand, it would be pretty nice to have a job with benefits (after going on 7 years without them during my Kitchen Clinic days). On the other hand, it sure is easy to trade away the best of your waking hours for the illusion of security that benefits provide. One nice thing about being a family physician these days is that most medical systems in most places want (and need) more of them. Unfortunately, the way they tend to see us is as a production unit capable of performing certain functions they have identified as necessary. They are not particularly interested in others' thoughts about what would really benefit the patients they are "serving." This, in addition to my ever strengthening belief that it is a provision for health, not health care, that people need, has left me wary of "selling out." So many things to consider!
Easily the highlight of the week was being able to say hello to my friend, Ginny, who finally was freed from the hospital in Springfield yesterday. It was a salve to my soul just to hear her voice. I hope the coming days bring her some peaceful rest. She is a good reminder to me of that which is important. Namaste, dear Ginny.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
full moon #2
"my barn having burned
to the ground
I can now see the moon..."
28 days ago, we left Missouri under a full moon. one lunar month later, we can see a beautiful full moon through the skylight of our upstairs bedroom.
talking with my friends about our move, the most asked question is: why?
why now? why Santa Cruz? how could you decide so quickly?
well, it wasn't a fast decision to leave Missouri. I would say the conversation about living somewhere else started very early in my relationship with Rich in 1999, and I had been thinking about it seriously since divorcing in 1994. in many ways, I was never "at home" in Missouri after returning there from New England in 1987.
it took a number of years of discussing Rich being unhappy with the cold winters and me being unhappy with the hot summers for us to identify a place with a more moderate climate in both seasons that we thought we would both enjoy. for at least 6 months before our departure, we had our sights on the central California coast, although we were definitely willing to change our minds if it didn't seem "right."
granted, we were distracted a few times by thinking about the Bay Area, thinking about San Diego, thinking about Oregon...but we kept coming back to the central coast. we borrowed the entire library collection on California a few times over. we identified more with Northern California, and the state's golf association splits at San Luis Obispo, so we eventually felt we would want to be at least that far north. yes, this is me talking about deciding where to live because of golf tournaments.
the time for a move was ripe, with both kids clearly gone and not coming back. I had been working on separating from The Kitchen Clinic for a good long while. and taking care of a 3 bedroom house on a double lot was taking up more time and delivering less pleasure all the time.
our trip up the coast from San Luis Obispo was all positive. not a bad place in the lot. but Santa Cruz felt more urban, yet still of a manageable size, and close to the things we wanted: family, weather, beach, university, and, yes, golf.
sometimes it still is scary to think we did this. we occasionally look at each one another in terror, knowing that in a very real sense "we" are "us," period. most of the time, we are grateful we gave one another enough strength to pull up stakes and try it. everyday, there are many things to love here that we did not have before.
and tomorrow? well, I still want to do some organizing in the back porch.
to the ground
I can now see the moon..."
28 days ago, we left Missouri under a full moon. one lunar month later, we can see a beautiful full moon through the skylight of our upstairs bedroom.
talking with my friends about our move, the most asked question is: why?
why now? why Santa Cruz? how could you decide so quickly?
well, it wasn't a fast decision to leave Missouri. I would say the conversation about living somewhere else started very early in my relationship with Rich in 1999, and I had been thinking about it seriously since divorcing in 1994. in many ways, I was never "at home" in Missouri after returning there from New England in 1987.
it took a number of years of discussing Rich being unhappy with the cold winters and me being unhappy with the hot summers for us to identify a place with a more moderate climate in both seasons that we thought we would both enjoy. for at least 6 months before our departure, we had our sights on the central California coast, although we were definitely willing to change our minds if it didn't seem "right."
granted, we were distracted a few times by thinking about the Bay Area, thinking about San Diego, thinking about Oregon...but we kept coming back to the central coast. we borrowed the entire library collection on California a few times over. we identified more with Northern California, and the state's golf association splits at San Luis Obispo, so we eventually felt we would want to be at least that far north. yes, this is me talking about deciding where to live because of golf tournaments.
the time for a move was ripe, with both kids clearly gone and not coming back. I had been working on separating from The Kitchen Clinic for a good long while. and taking care of a 3 bedroom house on a double lot was taking up more time and delivering less pleasure all the time.
our trip up the coast from San Luis Obispo was all positive. not a bad place in the lot. but Santa Cruz felt more urban, yet still of a manageable size, and close to the things we wanted: family, weather, beach, university, and, yes, golf.
sometimes it still is scary to think we did this. we occasionally look at each one another in terror, knowing that in a very real sense "we" are "us," period. most of the time, we are grateful we gave one another enough strength to pull up stakes and try it. everyday, there are many things to love here that we did not have before.
and tomorrow? well, I still want to do some organizing in the back porch.
Monday, February 6, 2012
new things I have done this week
-rode 2 buses from home to UCSC and 2 buses from campus to home. easy breezy. thinking of doing a study of what college kids do on the bus.
-met a woman who sells used clothing from her house 1 day monthly and has a great business.
-shopped a local farmers market where they had live blue grass music and fresh fish.
-checked out 3 thrift stores downtown.
-walked the beach at sunset instead of watching the Super Bowl.
-had 2 home visits from our new, funny, computer coach, Andrea. She talks back to the computer just like me!
-had phone interviews with 2 prospective employers.
-found the missing pictures in a garment box in the attic.
-checked out 2 more grocery stores with Rich.
-bought and returned more technological devices. ordered something called Apple TV and an HDMI cable. have no idea what they do.
-had the passenger side rear view mirror replaced after a street person pulled the original off the Prius.
-had our trash ignored because we left the bins on the sidewalk (they were supposed to be IN the street).
-wired money from 1 bank account in Missouri to another. oops!
-met a woman who sells used clothing from her house 1 day monthly and has a great business.
-shopped a local farmers market where they had live blue grass music and fresh fish.
-checked out 3 thrift stores downtown.
-walked the beach at sunset instead of watching the Super Bowl.
-had 2 home visits from our new, funny, computer coach, Andrea. She talks back to the computer just like me!
-had phone interviews with 2 prospective employers.
-found the missing pictures in a garment box in the attic.
-checked out 2 more grocery stores with Rich.
-bought and returned more technological devices. ordered something called Apple TV and an HDMI cable. have no idea what they do.
-had the passenger side rear view mirror replaced after a street person pulled the original off the Prius.
-had our trash ignored because we left the bins on the sidewalk (they were supposed to be IN the street).
-wired money from 1 bank account in Missouri to another. oops!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
which job where?
Even though 4 more days have passed, I have to admit we still have boxes in the guest room. I guess it is just natural to unpack the easy stuff first, but I have really gotten hung up on the boxes of paperwork and pictures. Just goes to show, you move your real problems with you!
I also started feeling a little anxious about getting the job search going, so I became distracted by updating my resume and looking online for openings. Not being bilingual, I am unqualified for most of the community health opportunities I have seen. There are a couple of large "medical foundations," as they seem to call not-for-profit medical groups here, which have family medicine jobs available, but I have not contacted them yet. I did apply online for a student health job at UC-Santa Cruz, and they had me over today for a lunch interview. The medical director is also a recovering community health person and seemed like a good guy. I am going over tomorrow to get fingerprinted, so we will see how that goes. It seems to me those fingerprints I did for my California license should work, but what do I know?
The UCSC campus is stunning. It is a large campus in a redwood forest overlooking the Monterey Bay. The student health center is a new LEEDS Gold Certified building with redwoods in the central courtyard. Whoa.
Over the weekend we had our first visitors, cousins Jill, Sarah and Cindy. They liked our little house! They picked us up for our first California party, which was in honor of Aunt Kay's husband, Frank. He was celebrating his 80th birthday! We had a yummy brunch in a lovely restaurant at a nearby resort. The best part was Frank telling stories about growing up in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Who knew they had multi-level horse stables designed like parking garages!?
I am looking forward to having less on the "must do now" list so that we can do more exploring! All in good time, I suppose...it's just getting harder to wait.
I also started feeling a little anxious about getting the job search going, so I became distracted by updating my resume and looking online for openings. Not being bilingual, I am unqualified for most of the community health opportunities I have seen. There are a couple of large "medical foundations," as they seem to call not-for-profit medical groups here, which have family medicine jobs available, but I have not contacted them yet. I did apply online for a student health job at UC-Santa Cruz, and they had me over today for a lunch interview. The medical director is also a recovering community health person and seemed like a good guy. I am going over tomorrow to get fingerprinted, so we will see how that goes. It seems to me those fingerprints I did for my California license should work, but what do I know?
The UCSC campus is stunning. It is a large campus in a redwood forest overlooking the Monterey Bay. The student health center is a new LEEDS Gold Certified building with redwoods in the central courtyard. Whoa.
Over the weekend we had our first visitors, cousins Jill, Sarah and Cindy. They liked our little house! They picked us up for our first California party, which was in honor of Aunt Kay's husband, Frank. He was celebrating his 80th birthday! We had a yummy brunch in a lovely restaurant at a nearby resort. The best part was Frank telling stories about growing up in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Who knew they had multi-level horse stables designed like parking garages!?
I am looking forward to having less on the "must do now" list so that we can do more exploring! All in good time, I suppose...it's just getting harder to wait.
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