Awake in the middle of the night for the first time in weeks. It could be that I am anxious about the closing of our house in MO, scheduled for tomorrow. It is happening about a month later than planned. There was a problem with the title on the house related to a mistake made when the house was sold years ago out of the original owners' trust, which took some time to get cleared up. Then during that
month of waiting there were plumbing problems quickly followed by roofing problems...I just cannot WAIT to archive about a million emails about things I never want to think about again.
In the midst of this, there is all the "stuff" that comes with changing banks, insurances, addresses, etc. etc. etc. It will be a relief to have our resources where we need them to be without always needing to do some kind of form or transfer or identity check. I keep trying to think about how to make things simpler this time...
The other funny thing to me is how I react to the combination of unstructured time, yet having "things to do." During most of my adult life, "things to do" have gotten wedged in around work time and family responsibilities. Now, it is largely up to me to decide how my time is spent. It is not exactly "vacation," but I could be treating it much more like that than I am. I have been putting a pretty high priority on getting things in my life organized the way I want them...thinking, I suppose, that the time investment now will pay off for me later. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just go to the beach and read a book while the going is good.
There is a part of me that still thinks I can get things "all caught up" so that THEN I can relax and just maintain. I know life just isn't that way. Maybe one day I will learn to accept the lack of order we call reality.
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