summer tour 2012

This is my first morning waking up at home in 29 days, and it feels wonderful.

The first of my 2 months off was spent traveling to spend time with loved ones. I loved each of my 3 stops away, yet I dislike being away from Rich for such a long time.

My first stop was a visit to Cape Cod ( or, "the cape of the cod" as Will used to call it) beginning June 23. I flew into Boston and took the bus to the Cape where my dear friend Pat and her 12 year old son, Theo met me. Over 20 years ago she and her partner, Leslie, bought a broken down small cottage just outside of Wellfleet, on the outer Cape. It is a lovely, simple, grey shingled place with a large main room contiguous with the kitchen and dining area, 2 small bedrooms downstairs, and a bedroom loft upstairs. It is not on the water, but there are 2 bay beaches within short walks in both directions down the dirt road from their deck and garden. The house is on a small island which is not accessible by car at high tide. The expansive view near the bridge onto the island is simply magical: it is my favorite spot on the entire Cape.

We were a continuously changing group in the house during my 12 day stay. Pat and I and Theo were the constants, Pat's dad, Ed, was there for my first week there, and Leslie and their 17 year old daughter, Emma, were there on weekends. Leslie is teaching a summer course in Providence on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Emma has been going with her to keep up with her "just graduated from high school" life.

Our days revolved around 3 things: 90 year old Ed's needs, Theo's 9 to 2:30 weekday camp at the nearby Audobon reserve, and bug avoidance. Typically we would get Theo up and out (not as easy as it sounds) and off to camp with a packed lunch before Ed's shower and breakfast. Ed's right hip is fixed in extension, a result of a long bout with TB which he contracted in WWII. He dealt successfully with this for his entire adult life, but, now, combined with the other ravages of old age, it is a challenge for him to get up and down and in and out of cars. Luckily, both he and Pat are tall and strong, and they manage beautifully with the aid of a walker, a chair specially designed for him by Leslie, and extra bars in the bathroom. And with each day came a new strategy for how to best avoid the no-see-ums and the green head flies (ever the bane of Cape existence in June), in planning our mid-day outing with Ed and our afternoon outing with Theo.

These things left plenty of time for beautiful walks, swims in the bay and the fresh water ponds and the ocean, delicious meals, and the entertaining banter of multigenerational family life. When things got tense ("Theo, is your headgear on?!?!?"),  Teddy, the charming family dog, was there to distract us.

At the end of my first week there, it was time to take Ed back to his apartment on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Pat and I timed the 6 hour trek to avoid traffic on both ends, leaving the Cape on Sunday morning, staying overnight, then getting out of the city at 6am Monday morning.With Ed and his urinal in the backseat, the trip went just fine. The heat and action of the city were a good reminder of the beauty of the Cape, and we were glad to be back on the island Monday afternoon.

Full moon #6 occurred on Tuesday July 3-incredibly beautiful on the water-and on the 4th we had a long walk on the beach at Truro with our friends Cathy and Tucker. On the 5th, I took the bus back to Boston, had a delightful seafood meal with friends Brian and Linda, then flew out early am on the 6th for Canada.

Oh, Canada! I met up with my mom in Minneapolis, then we met up with my cousin, Jill in Winnepeg and the three of us took a hopper over to Red Lake. Carrie picked us up in the Eagle Falls Lodge truck, fed us lunch, took us to buy groceries, then captained their barge over the lake to the lodge. I was "helping" her dock the barge when I fell in the water causing great concern and confusion...a funny, muddy start to our stay!

This was the second year Carrie and Travis took a "break" mid-season to host family and friends at the lodge, rather than their usual guests. This year, most of the group was from Travis' mom's side of the family, hailing from Marshalltown, Iowa. Their group of 10 was led by Uncle Terry, a wonderfully positive and generous soul, and included two 5 year olds, and a 7, 10 and 13 year old. So to say there was excitement about fish and frogs does not begin to capture it! So with our "Case family" group of 3, 5 of Carrie and Travis' friends, Travis' brother, Carson, and our hosts (including Cosmo the camp dog), we were a big group! Each day was more fun than the last, and it was hard to leave my dear daughter, as always, when it was time for us to leave and for new guests to arrive on the 14th.

My last stop was a week in Kansas City with my son, Will and my friend, Alison. If I needed any reinforcement for having made the decision to leave Missouri, a week of humid 100 to 110 degree days served quite well.

Will has a nice apartment near Westport which he shared with me for the week. We shopped the first day for the week's food, and shared some nice meals out as well. While I had been in Canada, Will returned from a summer voice workshop in Vancouver which he really enjoyed. He met a teacher from Montreal whom he really liked, and had some good times with his friend, Ava, whom he met at a workshop a few years back in Germany. He is in the throes of sorting out his plans for the upcoming year, including his last semester of classes this fall and figuring out what graduate programs he wants to visit so that he can apply in the spring for the fall of 2013. We had a lot of fun together, including a yummy dinner out with our friends Margo and Isabel.

My week of daily visits with Alison was amazing. This beautiful, brilliant 31 year old woman suffered multiple strokes to her brainstem this past March. After her initial hospitalization in Kansas City, she spent several weeks at a rehab hospital in Lincoln, NE before returning to a facility in Merriam, KS about a month ago. We worked together at The Kitchen Clinic for a couple of years. She was the best healthcare administrator I have ever had in my 30+ years as a family doctor.

Because of the location of her strokes, Alison's mental function is completely intact, yet her body barely responds to the signals sent by her brain. She is quadriplegic, but has some movement in her left leg, including her ankle and toes. She can also open and close her jaw and is gaining in ability to swallow food. She communicates "yes" by using long blinks. And she can laugh-boy, can she laugh!

This was my first in-person visit with her since her strokes. I had done FaceTime with her in the past, so I was somewhat prepared for seeing her in this completely changed state, but, still, it was very hard to see someone I love so much suffering as a prisoner in her own body. Some people call this "locked in syndrome," and I plan to do some more reading by those who have regained their ability to as they recovered. Her courage and determination in this situation are unbelievable, as is the devoted care she is given by her husband, Chris.

We spent out time each day attending various therapy sessions, practicing movements and sounds, listening to music, reading books, tasting soft foods, and making lots of jokes. And re-positioning...always re-positioning. It was wonderful just to get to be with her. Chris' goal is to get her home with caregivers there. I left feeling inspired by them both, and hopeful that her communication, movement and eating skills will continue to progress so that she can enjoy herself more in the days ahead.

As much fun as all these experiences were, nothing beats the pleasure of being at home with your beloved. Our house definitely looks like Rich has been here by himself for a month-it is clean, but quite amusingly messy. What a dear he is! I am looking forward to spending the next 4 weeks (until I return to work on 8-20-12) going to lots of yoga classes and figuring out more of how I want to spend my time in this community. East, west, home is best: so hello again, Santa Cruz!